I'm in a mood

I'm in a really rotten mood and have been for a few days now. I don't know why, I just am. Everything and everyone ticks me off. I wish I could just lay down and go to sleep for a week and wake up happy. Not going to happen. I do know I'm ticked at Don for his stupid decision. I guess I'm not so mad at Don as I am hurt and the only way I know how to deal with hurt is to shut down. But my loving daughter won't let me do that and keeps on me until she finds out what is wrong. No that there is anything wrong with that, just sometimes I would rather wait to talk about stuff until I'm ready to talk about it. Sara is home from the cottage. Great I can hardly wait for her 20 phone calls a day. How come she get to complain and I don't? And how come when I do complain I seem to have been doing it on a daily basis?
Anyway I also feel like crap so I'm sure that has something to do with me being in a mood.
Hopefully since tomorrow is Monday I will put all this behind me and move on into a happy zone and then everyone will be happy. Well at least we can hope right????? :)

I have a date

Finally I have a date for my knee revision. October 27. Gee I hope thats not a sign. That date would have been my 29th wedding anniversay and we all know how that turned out!!! Anyway I'll keep good thoughts. I'm also not ready to go back to work yet. And I'm sure as heck not going to go back to communications. I just can't do the shifts and I don't want the responsibility anymore of the people calling in or dispatching the officers.
Well Don and I are going to be friends and nothing more. At least until if and when the Polish princess moves to Canada. When that happens he will no longer be a part of my life but hopefully still in the girls life as well as the grandbabies. In the big picture its his lose that he isn't willing to try again with me. I've changed alot and I've grown alot (emotionally).........and I'm ready to share my life equally but oh well too bad for him. Anyway I'm going to focus on my upcoming surgery and I'm going to focus on losing my weight so I'm under 200 lbs before I get it done. That means following program exactly and exercising. So Jess keep me on the treadmill!!!!!!!! I also get the results of my stomach on Oct 18. So I'm sure I will have to schedule surgery for that too and lets not forget my back!!!!! At least when I finally do go back to work I will be better then ever!!!!!!!

Long week but a good week

Sara and John went on vacation last week to Cuba and I babysat the beautiful children with alot o help from Jess. I had a great time being with the kids. They are awesome. Gus is standing up lots and letting go. One of these days she will take off walking!!!!! Corbin was great. Except for getting up ubber early he was a good little guy. He just knows when to hug you and tell you he loves you. And this week I really need to know that.
I mailed Don the letter. In hindsite I wish I hadn't. What good is it going to do. I'm sure he is sure he has now found Miss Right even though she lives in another country half way around the world. Too bad he never listened to his heart all thoes years ago when he told me if he listened to his heart he would have been happy with me but he knew in his head who he was looking for and I wasn't it. I talked to him about moving back to Ontario. Even went so far as too look for jobs for him and offered to help him with his resume. Offered him places to stay while he gets himself established. Long story short by the end of the coversation I was in tears, mostly due to myself thinking I might have a chance to start over with him and see where it goes. If he decides that he doesn't want to do that it, my heart will still be broken (good thing it didn't heal from before), but I will get over it and he will be the loser in all of this. If he decides to pursue his "friend" then I will be backing off big time in conversing with him. Again his lose. Anyway I'm exhuasted and will probably sleep alot this week. I also have to figure out how to pay our bills this month. Its going to be difficult and some of them won't get paid but the important ones will. Anyway heading off to Willie's for dinner tonight and Don is suppose to call. We'll see how that goes. Since he was suppose to send me an email on Friday and it is now Sunday and still waiting for it. Some things never change.

Time to get back on track

I had a great weekend. Didn't overindulgue too much but enough that I need to drop 2 lbs before Friday. I can do that. Lots and lots of water and good food. I got an email from Don. He is back in Canada and is going to call me tonight. Depending on what he says on how his trip has gone will be the deciding factor if I send him the letter I wrote to him.
I still havent decided what I'm going to do about my daughters. I mean they are both great in their own ways but I can't deal with them when they are together. I have some things to say to both of them and I guess I may tell the older one when she is finished vacations and the younger one.....well when the time is right I will say what I have to say.
Keeping my fingers crossed that I stand a chance.

What a wonderful weekend

On Thursday night we packed up with Willie and Harold and Corbin and heading up to Eel's Lake near Bancroft for a great weekend. It was awesome. Corbin was amazing. He was good the whole time. No tantrums nothing. He went to bed good and woke up at 630 every morning. He ate great and was just amazing to be with. Jess was fun and we played games with Wille and Harold. It was great.
Life is wonderful. It is great and full of.......well lets just say its full.